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So I’m going to relay my experience at my very first birth class. Heather and I decided to go the Bradley Method route. For those of you not familiar with the Bradley method, it’s one part prepping mommy’s body for an optimal natural childbirth, one part good nutrition for a full term, healthy labor, and one part husband coached birth. In short it’s everything a hyper-involved rookieDad with a granola chaser would want out of a birth class. (Learn more about the Bradley Method here.)

This is not an educational anecdote per se. Nooo. I wish it was. I think the only lesson here is: don’t become a caffeine junkie and then try to quit weeks before your first class, when your goal is a good showing and exuding the persona of a loving and supportive partner.

Here’s how it went down….

We arrived at a local medical center offering the class. All the good Bradley Method classes are typically conducted in the homes of the coaches and led by a couple – a husband and a former mother who are certified in the Bradley Method. In my area, this local medical center started offering the classes for like $30, so it basically put the good, classic offerings out of business.  I state this because had this been offered in someone’s home, where maybe it wouldn’t be awkward to excuse oneself, or get some sort of refreshment, maybe I could have avoided the embarrassment.

Earlier that day I was slammed at work. I keep a stash of Slimfast in my mini-fridge at work to be sure to have some sort of sustenance, regardless of how meager, to tide me over if I need to work through lunch. It didn’t help that I skipped breakfast because I was running late to work. I don’t know if my lack of food was a contributing factor to what was to come, but I list it here just in case.

Now on top of a fasting diet of slimfast, I decided that today – today I was going to do the chivalrous thing and ween myself off of caffeine. I had done well to avoid cigars and alcohol – the big vices that Heather certainly couldn’t partake of (not that she’d smoke a cigar, but I’m just saying). The one thing I couldn’t drop up to this point, though, was caffeine. Maybe it’s a career in Web, but getting jacked up on caffeine and working late nights just seems to come with the territory. So that day, I brought my lovely water bottle and decided to forgo the coffee and Diet Coke for a far less stimulating or appetizing H2O.

I did alright all the way up to the 6:30P class. As a matter of fact, I playfully chit-chatted and joked with my wife all the way to the hospital’s education center. But somewhere between the elevator ride, the goofy icebreakers and the sitting on pillows, something changed in my physiology. I can only assume it was the lack of my usual oil tanker load of caffeine I typically have by that time in the evening, but suddenly the temperature skyrocketed. I started sweating – profusely. I hadn’t changed since work, so I was still wearing a modestly conservative buttonup and sweatervest. Upon first break, off went the sweatervest and undershirt, and the button-up unbuttoned to reveal a healthy portion of my bare chest. I went back to my seat on the floor with a sweatervest and white undershirt in my hands and growing sweat rings under the arms of my button-up.

At this point, Heather was eating a snack she brought along of almonds and dried edamame, trying to not to stare at my ridiculous sweating. Away went my ego and out came my id. Looking for anything to stem my discomfort, I asked for some of her snack. She turned away to look in her book for just a moment or two, and I had consumed all but an almond and some wispy remains of the dried edamame. I swear I barely remember it, but I had consumed nearly everything in her little to-go snack-pack.  To add to the shock and embarassment, I spent the endless minutes until the next break blotting my sweaty forehead and face – alternating between a noisy, crinkly bathroom paper towel and my undershirt. A glance around the room told Heather that her husband A) was the only one evidencing these traumatic physical manifestations, and B) was a freak.

As our instructor continued (in a painstakingly slow thoroughness) to read some obvious terms that someone who lived under the rock would know, I – usually a very attentive, excellent even, student – slowly, painfully started nodding off. I pinched my hand, Heather pinched me, and I propped my head up in my hands, straining to keep my eyes open; but alas, it was too much effort and for the remaining 20 minutes of the lesson until breaktime,  it was a war of will – my will against my body, Heather’s will against my body, my body against a lack of caffeine. Shit. It was pathetic.

Thankfully, our instructor called for another break, at which point I shook myself awake and stood up, glistening with sweat and ruddy from the effort of my attempts to stay conscious. With all the grace of an intoxicated one-legged donkey, I strolled over to the instructor, chuckled that tonight was a bad night to ween myself off of caffeine, and asked her where the vending machines were. An elevator ride and somewhat refreshing walk later, and I was standing in front of an oasis of caffeine, chocolate and candy. I wasn’t even that hungry, but I purchased a pack of cheese crackers, a 20oz. Mountain Dew, a pack of Skittles, a Snickers bar, and a pack of M&M’s. The Snickers was gone by the time I had reached the elevator, as was a third of the Mountain Dew. To further add to my poor wife’s embarrassment, I returned to the classroom to yet another poorly made and outdated video of women giving birth, where I distracted the entire class during the video with the crickle and crunch of my slow and steady consumption of every bit of junk food I had just purchased.

Amazingly, by the end of clas I was myself again, but dear Lord – what a piss-poor showing at my first birth class with Heather. In recounting the tale, she laughed so hard this evening that she was in near hysterics. Thank God she has a great sense of humor. Meanwhile back at the ranch, I think it’ll be a while before me and Diet Coke part ways. I never knew you could get DTs from going off caffeine.

Moral of the story: If you are tragically jacked up on caffeine 7 days out of the week, don’t choose the first night of husband-coached-birth class to quit caffeine.  You’ll turn into a sweaty, hungry, sleepy slob, and no one wants a birth coach like that.

-RookieDad Sean

So here’s a short post.  I wanted to clue in newbie dads to a couple awesome sites for new or soon-to-be dads.  First one is fairly out there – not meaning weird but rather popular, so you may have already heard of it: www.dadlabs.com.  It’s a great site for dads by dads.  Lots of videos, an online television series, many articles and much great content.  I especially like this site because it’s not just one guy trying to be the be-all-end-all, but rather a host of folks in our shoes.  I know the irony is that so far, all you’ve heard from is me on this blog.  Trust me, I’ve got other voices doing the “me-me-me” getting warmed up for some posts, but lately since I’m hosting the thing, I’m the one you get for now.  Believe me, though: I in no way profess to be an expert dad.  Hell, I’m a newbie just like the rest of you.  All I’m doing is spreading the word about the stuff I’m learning as I go along. ….. Awkward.  Alright, let’s move on…

Number two: www.dadsadventure.com.  I came across this site after hearing a RN at me and my wife’s Birth and Baby class reference a daddy bootcamp resource guide.  This site is the accompanying work.  So granted, it’s one guy professing to be an expert.  And yes, he is exerting his capitalistic right to make a buck off of you while trying to help you, but I have to admit: there’s good content there.  My favorite type too – anecdotal lessons and lots of checklists.  Maybe we’re hardwired to appreciate a honey-do list, but God help me, I love a checklist.  This has got everything from a hospital kit checklist (though I think the one I compiled on this site is better and more comprehensive), pre-labor signs, when to go to the hospital, and lots of stuff post-delivery.  Like I said –  good content, and its free if you don’t get snookered into purchasing a magazine subscription from the guy.

At any rate, check these two sites out.  Good resources for you and me.

Best,

RookieDad Sean

If you haven’t had the opportunity to check out Part 1 of this Prepping for Baby series on the hospital kit, click here to check it out.  Part 2 of this series is all about the nursery.  Some of what I’ll put in here is no-brainer stuff, and nearly all is from resources outside myself.  Before delving in, I have to cite three books that are excellent guides for RookieDads:

• The Pocket Idiot’s Guide to Being an Expectant Father (ISBN 978-1-59257-224-3),
• Your Pregnancy for the father-to-be, 2nd ed. (ISBN 978-0-7382-1275-3),
• and lastly The Modern Girl’s Guide to Motherhood (ISBN 978-0-06-088534-2).

Regarding this last one, I’m so not above reading a book written for women.  Honestly, I’m using What to Expect… as a mousepad right now and have damn-near read thing cover to cover.  This Modern Girls’s guide is awesome.  Excellent, concrete advice for parents.  I don’t believe there’s a “Modern Guy’s Guide to Fatherhood” but if anyone wants to co-author it with me, I’m game.  That said, these books I rely on heavily in the lists and info below, along with Fit Pregnancy magazine; and of course I rely on the folks who’ve been there.  I can say without any cheekiness that literally nothing other than my random attempts at wit can I call my own thoughts.  Everything below is due to these sources.  The only value I add is aggregating the best of these resources for you into an easy-to-use list, and what results – I hope – is a omprehensive checklist to get you organized and in the right direction for prepping, setting up and stocking the baby’s room, starting with the crib.

So let’s start with the basics:

So your basic concerns here are: can the baby rest in the thing? and can the baby not hurt itself while in there?  With that in mind,

• Entanglement/Suffocation:
  • Current laws dictate that slats can be no more than 2 1/8″ apart.  The number isn’t arbitrary.  The Consumer Products Safety Commission which governs crib guidelines established this value based upon field tests, case studies, amd statistical and empirical data.  Anything wider than two and an eighth inches poses an entanglement risk.  What does that mean in common terms?  Your baby can trap her head or limbs between the slats, and just like a poorly executed Steven Segal movie – crack goes an arm.  Or worse, your precious little one can suffocate with it’s head stuck.  I’d say of all items related to the child, do not play around with cribs and car seats.  These are highly regulated, so make sure that if you get a used crib, it adheres to the most current CPSC safety guidelines.  You can access the latest list here.
  • It probably doesn’t need to be said, but the slats should be vertical, not horizontal.
  • Another suffocation risk can be posed by the mattress.  Be sure that the mattress fits securely.
  • Another consideration is crib posts.  Many older crib models have posts that are higher than the crib rail.  Remember how Superman used to hang up villians by their shirts on a flag pole.  Same thing can happen with your little one.  This is a strangulation risk, so either cut off the posts or toss the crib and get a new one.
• SIDS risk:  SIDS – or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome – is very real.  You may know someone or at least someone who knows someone that this may have happened to.  Me?  I had a family member experience this excruciating loss.  I truly can’t imagine what that must feel like, and I pray I never, EVER experience it myself.  You can do some things to ensure you minimize the risk of SIDS with your child.
  • Get a firm mattress.  Some of the latest research indicates that firm mattresses reduce the risk of this God-awful thing.
  • Also, be sure to take everything bulky out of the crib.  Some of the latest research says to not include ANYTHING in the crib other than the baby and a sleepsack or onesie.  Toys, quilts, bumpers, and even less than extremely snug sheets – all of these can pose a risk for SIDS.  Remember everything should be military snug.  Consider that the only way to be sure you are safe(er).
  • For later, when the child can roll over on their own, bumpers can be a way to minimize boo-boos from night-time thrashing.  That said, the bumper should be soft but not too thick and should attach to the crib’s slats in at least 6 places so that it is snugly arranged arounfd the lower permieter of the crib.
• Fall/Collapse Hazard:  So some obvious stuff here – make sure all hardward is present, the bolts/screws don’t free-turn in their holes, wood joints are tightly joined, mattress has a good support (will probably resemble spring Army barracks mattress supports) and that the supoprt hangers attach securely to the hooks on each on the posts, the crib once assembled is sturdy, strong, and stable.  If can rock back and forth like a see-saw, breakdown the crib, take it to the backyard, and set it on fire.  Odds are if everything is bolted together and it still isn’t 100% stable, then it isn’t safe for any baby and should be kindling or termite food only.
• Sleeping Position:  Babies should sleep on their backs until they can roll over on their own.  Honestly they should sleep on their backs regardless of whether they can roll over.  This is SIDS prevention 101.  You can use a crib wedge while the baby is very young to keep the litle one from turning over onto their belly
• Baby On the Move:  Your crib should have adjustable rails so that when the little one gets off her belly and onto her little legs, she can’t climb out of their crib.
• Sheets 101:  You should cover the mattress with a fitted mattress pad, then a fitted sheet (again keyword here is snug), and then a lap pad or piddle pad (to facilitate night-time changing – much easier to do according to the Modern Girl’s Guide).  The latest Fit Pregnancy (Sept. 2009) also provides an interesting tip from a mother of multiples.  One mother of twins suggests that you consider layering sheets and pads to make changes extremely quick and easy; that you should use a mattress pad, then a waterproof pad, then a sheet, then a waterproof pad, then a sheet, then a lap or piddle pad.  If the top sheet gets soiled pull off the top layers and then you a re good to go with fresh sheet right below it.  I would say use your best judgement here.  The extra bulk in precautionary bedding can increase the potential risk to the child just as an ill-fitting sheet can.  I’ll be going the slightly more inconvenient route of changing to new sheets when she has an “accident” and give myself some piece of mind around the suffocation risks posed by too-soft or ill-fitted bedding.

I’ve read many times that during the first few weeks a baby could be just as comfy in a dresser drawer as in the most premo crib.  Leaving you this evening on that thought, remember:

Safety first, aesthetics second.   Convenience matters less than your child’s well-being.  When in doubt, consult the authorities (e.g. the CPSC).  And make sure you cover your bases on the crib that way you can rest easy and your baby can too.

Sweet dreams,

RookieDad Sean

-Look for the next segment of Prepping for Baby when we discuss other nursery topics, knowing when to head to the hospital and more.  Until then….