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Whether ’tis nobler to gender-ify the remaining 22 weeks of pregnancy or not…  I don’t think there’s a right answer.

A woman I work with – an ops kinda girl – said that despite her clear aura of process-planning-neonazism, she decided to wait to find out with her husband.  Her reply to the question of “why?” was unfortunately trite, saying with her typical grimace that she “was planning for the fact that you can’t plan anything for a baby.”  I guess I should congratulate her for her foresight and broad, albeit pessimistic view of parenthood, but I simply can’t give this woman the benefit of the doubt.

The truth is I find it hard to throw caution to the wind and be a take-it-as-it-comes kind of guy, at least when it comes to this prenancy and parenthood thing.  Call it the Boy Scout in me (“Be Prepared!” still rings in my ears), but I want to have the right clothes, a nursery decked to the nines, advice from parents with like-gendered children, and as much knowledge as I can possibly have about that baby well BEFORE it gets here, so that instead of having to hurry to get my ass in gear with what the baby needs, I can enjoy a paternity leave focused solely on getting to know and loving on my little one.

Now, there are some who want to do it all for their child as well, and are plenty prepared, but are more conservative or more whimsical with the gender issue.  Folks that are as level-headed as it gets, but want to bathe in every surprising joy of parenthood – and that includes being surprised about the gender.  I think that’s great.  For many people this is an exciting gift that mom and dad can share together.  I’ve known some who have had the ultrasound tech write the gender on a card and seal it in an envelope.  The couple then opens it at a later date.  A boss of mine opened the envelope with his wife on Christmas – making it a one-of-a-kind gift.

I think it boils down to preference.  There are certainly pros and cons to both approaches.  I think that individuals who are deeply conservative or largely eccentric are prone to the surprise-method, while the more liberal and urban parents tend to prep for their child by finding out the gender so that can get that Peg Perego car seat in pink if the gender so lends itself.  Again, no wrong way here and regionality could certainly play into it – just noting observations from a southern Carolina RookieDad.

Ultimately, come to the decision as a couple, weigh the pros and cons and get excited about it – if you do that, you can’t go wrong.  Whether you prolong the excitement or jump right in – that’s up to you and your bride.  This RookieDad found out…and there will be pink in my future and the dreaded hell of having dufus, hormonal pre-pubescent boys trying to date my little girl.  I’ll just need to perfect my deadpan-face-conversing-in-aggressive-grunts-while-cleaning-a-shotgun routine.  Wish me luck.  And good luck to you!  Whether it’s a boy or girl, and whether you find out or not, it’ll be a hell of a ride and an exciting time regardless - something you’ll want to soak in as much as possible.  Enjoy, RookieDads.  I know I am…

-RookieDad Sean