The RookieDad’s Guide to Pregnancy Hormones:
Of the many physiological changes occuring in your wife’s body at the moment, changes in pregnancy hormones can evoke some of the most strange behavior from your normally calm, cool, and collected bride. My wonderful wife sent me the following cartoon below after having a “moment” the previous night when she discovered I had bought three new (and probably unneeded – yes, honey, I’ll give you that) spices for my overflowing spice cabinet. In my wife’s defense, there were a number of things that built up to it including dropping some can goods that I left on the landing at the back door when she got home from work – I brought in the rest of the groceries but forgot that bag. Ug…. “But it must be the pregnancy hormones,” she told me through tears that came on as quickly as a raging Carribean tropical storm in September.
As a loving and adoring husband, you may have difficulty in recognizing the hormone-evoked response from the usual response. Hence, you may find it difficult to reconcile your wife’s outward reactions. From what I’ve been told from one of our friends, “you know how we get mood swings around our periods? Pregnancy hormone mood swings are like PMS on crack.”
The idea here is to recognize two things: 1) the outward extension of her behaviors and mood swings is a natural part of pregancy and the physiological changes occuring in her body. And 2) she is not getting upset over nothing. She’s upset about something that is valid and upsetting; it just wouldn’t be as upsetting or may not even evoke a response from her if not for the hormones and the discomfort that pregnancy brings.
In regards to number 2, I can help you there. If she wants more help with the mail and her hormones indicate that she should get extremely upset about your lack of assistance, then help her out. My guess is that anything she gets upset about is something that she’s indicated to you before, and her pregnancy hormones and physical ailments now make it a red-alert-nuclear-melt-down situation. Regardless of how she reacts – tears and screaming or gentle nudging – it’s likely something she’s asked you about before and something (slight guilt trip implied) you should probably have considered. Best way to acknowledge her needs is to ask and listen to her specifically about household things. What aggrevates her? What does she wish you could do more of? What does she really tire of doing? What are her pet peeves? She’ll tell you. Then, you go off somewhere quiet and private – the john maybe – and jot these things down.
Carry the list in your pocket. Review the list at odd times during the day. Make a special attempt to hold to and alleviate those things she’s indicated and then after two or so weeks, let her know what you did and post the list on the fridge next to the ultrasound picture. She’ll be thankful that you listened to her and cared enough to make this special gesture.
The next time the hormones seize control, follow these steps.
1) Apologize. (Be sincere, fellas.)
2) Tell her you care about her and want to make this time as comfortable and positive as possible (again, sincerity is key.)
3) Write it down on the list (or you might need to add a page to continue the list if you are like me). On this one, tread lightly – this outward show may seem like a passive-aggressive attempt to make some commentary on how you got the picture. But if you execute it correctly, she will be thankful and you won’t have to sleep on the couch.
4) Hug her (if she’ll let you) and tell her you understand. Then kiss her (if she’ll let you) and tell her you love her.
Try it. It’ll work. At the very least it’s better than standing there, head-hanging like a whipped puppy, or staring at her as if she’s grown three heads that are spinning and spitting pea-soup.
OK, to #1 – pregnancy hormones. You’ll score points with her and her friends if you make an effort to understand what’s going on in her body. The book, What to Expect When You Are Expecting is probably something you already have in the house (if not, get it and give it to your wife as a just-because-I-love-you present). The authors of the book have a website and have discussed those little buggers (the hormones), but I’ve detailed the highlights and what you need to know below. Impress your wife by telling her about these, and you’ll score points.
A veritable Nutcracker Suite of pregnancy hormones (no pun intended), the below 5 are the big players.
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LH (Luteinizing Hormone): Partnered with FSH, these guys manage the mentrual cycle which drops an egg and sheds it if it doesn’t become fertilized upon ovulation.
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FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone): Partner of LH. Essentially this puppy hits the ovary’s egg-bearing follicle and stimulates it to make estrogen (see below)
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Estrogen: Early in the game, it shuts off the flow of FSH, and orders a mega-blast of LH which hits the follicle, bursts it open, allowing the egg to begin it’s descent. It also is the foreman for progesterone and hCG as the baby develops. The placenta will start pumping out estrogen once it’s fully developed in the 2nd trimester. High levels of estrogen can cause blotchiness or rashing. The ruddy result in the cheeks is often described as the “Pregnancy Glow.” We want this hormone going, because it’s what keeps our babies from being androgenous and creates the sex organs you excitedly – or not – look for around week 18.
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Progesterone: The hormone generated by the now split-open follicle (aka corpus luteum aka yellow body) ripens the uterus for future baby inhabitants and turns off the LH spicket. It maintains the functions of the placenta (how your baby gets it’s nutrients), and keeps the uterus from contracting. Later in the 2nd trimester, the placenta takes over production of progesterone. Love the progesterone. It is what promotes breast tissue growth and causes your wife to bust out of skimpy tops if you are lucky enough to get her in one. Also, you can think of progesterone as a bouncer with an apron. It keeps the uterus and placenta in order and beats off cells near the womb and baby that could hurt either one. This puppy – as good as it is – causes your wife’s constipation and heartburn. Likely contributors to her general aggrevation and state of discomfort which, as you can imagine, contributes to an emotional “moment” from time to time.
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hCG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin): The main culprit. It is what you are looking for during a pregnancy test that throws the pink line or “+YES.” This bugger (said lovingly) is made by the cells in the placenta (newly forming just days after conception). These guys hit the corpus luteum back up in the ovary and get the estrogen/progesterone train going again. Morning sickness – yep, that’s hCG. The surge of hCG in the 1st trimester contributes to the queasy-nauseous-don’t-touch-me-or-I’ll-puke feeling. It also is the cause of the tennis-match-like runs to the potty to pee. In addition, this lovely bugger suppresses the immune system causing your precious wife to begin sniffling and sneezing if she’s within city limits of a person with a cold. Be thankful though, this suppressed immune response is so that her body doesn’t see the baby as an alien bug and reject it. So dab at her snotty nose lovingly.
Alone these guys can do a number on a woman’s system, in concert they effect her in all the ways you’ve probably already seen. Her increased metabolism due to the baby’s need for nutrients along with these hormones forces down both blood pressure and blood sugar. The result is your constantly pooped wife in the 1st trimester. Overall these five play with other strong hormones and chemicals to cause any number of physiological effects not all 100% understood by the medical community according to paternityangel.com. Some other fun players in the starting line-up include:
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HCS (Human Chorionic Somatomammotropin) aka HPL (Human Placental Lactogen): Produced in the placenta and managed by estrogen. Helps the breasts develop the capability to feed your baby.
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Calcitonin: Manages the baby’s bone development
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Thyroxin: Manages the baby’s nervous system development, absorption of oxygen and general growth.
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Insulin: Manages the baby’s food storage and glucose levels in both mommy and fetus.
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Relaxin: Causes the pelvic muscles to, well, relax. Is the main culprit for her hips hurting.
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Oxytocin: Generated through nipple stimulation (that’s right. I said it.) and cervix stretching. It is what makes the uterus contract to shove the baby out and stimulates those bra-busting monsters to generate milk. Progesterone and Estrogen continue to climb for the 38 weeks leading to pregnancy. Just before pregnancy, they drop dramatically. That’s this guy’s cue to go into the game.
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Erythropoietin: Manages blood and marrow development in the baby’s body.
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Cortisol: Takes those nutrients your wife is taking in and helps the baby use them.
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Prolactin: Helps immune system development, and also plays a cameo role in the baby’s growth as well as preparing your wife’s breasts for milk-production.
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